Luminating Letter to a Young Newlywed – Inspired by a difficult marital journey
Written by Ginny C.
Dear Newlywed,
As a teenage bride over 50 years ago, knowledge of the real world was lacking. Financial difficulties, a miscarriage, isolation and depression were sitting on the doorstep. Due to a problem with the premises, we had to move from the apartment we had only been in for a few months. Tension was mounting in the marriage. This all happened within the 1st year.
Life’s challenges continued and seemed to become more complicated. The biggest problem facing the marriage was the lack of communication. Coping mechanisms that had been learned kept us entangled in a quagmire of gloom and doom due to multiple family issues. Neither one of us knew how to begin to untangle the mess we were compounding due to lack of experience and resources.
I kept hearing the term coping mechanisms. It seemed that no matter with whom I spoke, I was told that it was normal to have problems when you are young. In the late 1960’s early ‘70’s there were not many places to turn.
Being a sporadic writer, I would keep a diary of sorts. It would help a little since I really didn’t have anyone to talk with that I felt I could trust outside of someone that was clergy or medical. The resources that I felt I had just made me feel that it was my problem, get over it.
I had an aunt that taught me to knit as a child. I learned to sew in Home Economics in high school. Neither one was of much interest to me. But, I needed something to occupy my time and utilize some form of talent I was hoping to find within myself.
Knitting seemed a better alternative to sewing. Yarn was cheap and you could make something that could be given as a gift. Knitting ended up not being so helpful, because, I would drop stitches and I would get pretty far along and there would be a hole in my work.
I switched to crocheting. It was faster than knitting and if you made a mistake, you knew it pretty quickly after you made it and correct it without feeling like you had to start over.
The crocheting would go into full swing for Christmas presents and I would start right after Christmas for the next year. Then I found
myself mixing in some knitting again.
After putting items in a small store on consignment people started placing orders. The money that I received helped me buy materials for the gifts I was making.
When you are young there are a lot of baby showers and wedding gifts to be made. I became pretty proficient at knitting baby sets (sweater, hat and booties) and crocheting afghans as wedding gifts.
The beautiful thing about needlework, I could keep my hands and my mind busy, which became very therapeutic and I was able to give a lasting gift made out of love.
I have come to the belief that giving of yourself and using the talents you have is both healthful and hopeful.
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